I remember creating furniture for people and building homes while living in my furniture-less unfinished house. For years this was the way things were. I possessed a strong verbal skill set with logical rational that I danced around to justify my lack of action. This so called logic was so well crafted that I had others buy-in that only fortified my lack of action as they would spin my rationalizations for me.
“I’m working 60 plus hour work weeks,” was a good one for sure. “I’m taking a full load of college classes,” this solidified buy-in from those who weren’t sold on the long work week. And yes, during these times, house renovations could not occur. That said, this schedule only lasted a couple of years. “We don’t have enough money to do that.” This accurately painful statement was, however, more about stopping the conversation than about making a plan to budget a little money and our time to do simple projects together.
Perhaps the most painful part of all of this, was the anguish of walking into an unfinished home. Then watching as my wife witnessed the hand crafted furniture she wanted leave out the front door. I’m sure at times, it seemed as though no consideration was given for her love of my art. She too was subject to the influence of my justifying that kept us living in an unfinished environment for literally decades.
The daily exposure to this environment was crippling, the more I tried to avoid the pain of looking at the unfinished, the less action I took to complete even the most basic of responsibilities. Over time, these would pile up and clutter not only my life, but my mind as well. I would claim that maintenance wasn’t my thing only to take action on projects or tasks when I had neglected them long enough that they had become emergencies.
This dynamic created the notion in my mind that these problems keep happening to me, when it is my lack of daily action that brought catastrophe to my door. Some would say that I have maintained the things that count, the relationships I have with my wife and kids, and parents, but the truth is all of these things are interconnected.
We often justify our shortcomings in one area of our lives by boosting ourselves up with another area of strength. Looking at our shortcomings is not easy, it takes courage and humility, and one key element is support, support that challenges you to make the changes that may take effort you don’t believe you possess.
People who are making these changes will often be faced with additional struggle as those around them are entrenched in the thoughts, routines, and behaviors that have been consistent in their lives. If you are fortunate enough to witness someone, who, they themselves are making changes that are for the betterment of themselves and those around them, this is an opportunity that should not be missed. Get involved and get on board.
I have been the person who sat idly by crippled by my own lies that supported my lack of action while someone close to me fought to make things better for themselves. To get on board and begin taking steps to change the neglected areas in your life is so much easier with support. Whether it’s starting a business or just cleaning up your home or finances, action as a team reveals the truths and gives you the support to make change.
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